what to do after the "Jerry Maguire" moment

So I had my epiphany late night and made my resolution to get in shape and follow my dreams.  Now it's a week later and I am back where I started.  I have skipped workout days and gone back to eating what I always do.  My only saving grace is that my taste for food is not junk just shear volume.   I am sitting down watching TV  knowing that this gets me nowhere.  So why am I doing this. Simple, it gives me immediate satisfaction.  The few workouts I did were short because I was winded in 5 minutes and felt like I was going to pass out within 15 minutes.  I receive no satisfaction from that kind of workout.  So what about the food?  I made the same things I always eat because guess what I have those ingredients in my pantry.  Today i got up and skipped my  workout altogether.  In short this sucks.  I am doing what I do every time.  I have quit but I haven't told myself that I quit yet. 
So what will be different?   I don't know.  I hope it will be that I recognize my failure and decide to keep going.  I hope that in writing about quitting I will find energy to restart.  Maybe this is how you start?  In any event I know that the way I look now I am invisible to women. 
quitting sucks.  Being unfit sucks.  This week sucks.  Only thing to do is keep going. 

Why?

If I look back at my life I am bored.  I filled my life with boring situations, hobbies, and jobs.  I was always looking to keep my family happy.  Trying to achieve the things they thought a responsible man should achieve.  I didn't even know I was trying to keep everyone happy and suppressing my own dreams because I am that good at suppressing my own feelings.  Now that everything I have tried has failed I am alone with my thoughts for maybe the first time in my life.  Now that I am alone I have vague remembrances of some dreams.  Dreams that I was too embarrassed to even acknowledge to myself.  But now that I choose to be alone I remember dreaming about being a writer.  I dreamed I wanted to direct.  Now that I am not afraid I remember watching movie after movie dreaming I would be on the big screen one day.  Oh yes I had dreams.  I kept all these dreams from everyone including my friends.
Do i dare dream this now that half of my life is gone and wasted?  Why not?  I know even more than when I was a kid.  I write better than when I didn't have any experiences under my belt.  I will change my life and follow a path that makes me happy.  I will start today and step one for me is write!  I will fill this blog and reintroduce myself to my mind and hopefully find my talent.  Step two:  will be get in shape!  I had a tiny glimpse of the best me when I was younger.  I made it to 195lbs and I felt great.  But is 195 the best me I can be?  Not by a long shot.  I have a picture of my dad, whom i do take after when he graduated high school and he was my height and about 145.  he looks like a Movie star from the 50's. One of my doctors told me that he was concerned about my weight I am 280 now.  he told me a man my height which is 5 feet 10 inches should weigh about 155.  I feel my weight should be 165.  So my goal for the second half of my life is to live it at 165.  I will make plans to achieve this in one year and I will change anything in my life to make that happen. 
So Why do I want this?  The answer is simple.  I have a boring job that makes meager money.  I am divorced and with out any children.  I have failed at every venture I have ever undertaken and I am tired of life without adventure.  I have never flown in a plane and i have never lived outside of Texas.  I have never been on vacation.  I forget what being in love feels like, and I hate that I am losing my positive nature.  When I was young I was filled with excitement for what was out there for me.  Now I am sick with experience.  I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself.  I do know that I have all the tools to fix myself.  I know that I can achieve my dreams.  Maybe I can even find that soul mate I know is out there, on the way to make my dreams happen?  I must.  I will.